It is absolutely paralyzing to learn that your child has substance abuse issues. Where do you turn for help? How do you know what steps to take? What is addiction, anyway? There are endless questions and no consolidation source of answers or support. In addition, the stigma of having an addicted child causes many parents to retract and withdraw rather than seek help. In truth, many families struggle with substance abuse issues, and the support, wisdom and guidance they need are not easily found.Parent Pathway was created for parents, by parents, to provide a place to find peace of mind at a time when their world feels like it is falling apart.
What do you look for in a rehab? One treatment center we like is Clean & Sober Recovery Services, a co-ed cognitive behavioral residential residential treatment center near Sacramento, California. Clean & Sober Recovery Service’s recovery model is based on the “bio psycho social” system of care. “The biological element is the physical healing of brain and body through detox and nutrition,“ explains co-owner John Perry. “The psychological element focuses on understanding the self—what drives one to use and abuse. The social element of recovery involves developing the skills to maintain sobriety while returning to the outside world.”
Residents of the treatment center attend 12-step meetings in the local community, which means they have a broad base of sober support after graduation.
Clean & Sober Recovery Services offers more than 40 hours per week of one-on-one and group counseling with certified drug and alcohol counselors, education and structured activities. Residents wake up at 7 AM for morning meditation, followed by exercise, proper hygiene and housekeeping responsibilities like making their beds and keeping the home tidy. “These are important life skills that can be lost along the way,” explains co-owner Chris Wright.
A focus on recovery for the family is essential. Chris explains, “The family often thinks, ‘If my loved one just quits drinking, we will all be fine.’ But the entire family needs help with the disease of addiction. If we don’t give the family tools and guidance about how to act and react, we are sending the addict/alcoholic back into an environment that doesn’t support recovery. Family support is an important part of our solution. We start the communication to repair the family unit. We help families develop a family contract to prepare everyone for reunification. Our family groups meet twice a week, offering education and support. And families can take advantage of 12 weeks of free aftercare after their loved ones ‘graduate’ from the program.”
Clean & Sober Recovery Services is a co-ed facility that can serve up to 8 women and 16 men ages 18 and up. The facility is staffed 24 by 7. Clients sign a contract at intake stating that they will not pursue relationships in rehab. As John explains, “If we are looking to remove drugs and alcohol from our lives, we cannot replace that with another person. Focusing on the immediate gratification of a relationship distracts clients from working on their chemical dependency issues. At the same time, life is co-ed, and we need to learn to get back into the mainstream of life. And since addicts and alcoholics tend to become reclusive, having a co-ed facility helps people reintegrate back into society.”
Clean and Sober Recovery Service’s program includes 12 weeks of aftercare for both client and family, and they accept insurance. Prospective clients and their families are always welcome to tour the facility. Call co-owners John Perry and Chris Wright at 916 990-0190.
These words of wisdom are inspired by Christy Crandall, author of Lost and Found
If your daughter (or son) relapses and asks to come home, it might seems like you are helping her if you say “Yes.” But you may really be enabling her to continue a destructive lifestyle. If she is serious about working a program of recovery, then she will find a sober living center and abide by the rules of that sober community.
While I know this sounds harsh and it is hard to think of your daughter as being possibly homeless, she has to take responsibility for her choices to continue drinking and using drugs. She needs to be more committed to her recovery than you are.
Every county has an access number to get help to those who are suffering from mental illness, substance abuse, homelessness. Give this number to her, and tell her you will support her as long as she is actively involved in a program. What that support looks like should be up to you, not to her. If you make it contingent upon her seeking recovery (i.e., going to treatment, living in sober living, etc.) , then you are supporting her in a healthy way.
And consider going to an Al-Anon meeting, specifically one for parents who have kids struggling with chemical dependency. This will help you make good decisions for yourself and your daughter as you travel on this difficult journey. Most of all, do not despair. There are 23 million Americans in long-term recovery, and your daughter can be one of them.