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It is absolutely paralyzing to learn that your child has substance abuse issues. Where do you turn for help? How do you know what steps to take? What is addiction, anyway? There are endless questions and no consolidation source of answers or support. In addition, the stigma of having an addicted child causes many parents to retract and withdraw rather than seek help. In truth, many families struggle with substance abuse issues, and the support, wisdom and guidance they need are not easily found.Parent Pathway was created for parents, by parents, to provide a place to find peace of mind at a time when their world feels like it is falling apart.

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  • Mind Your Own Business – Let go to honor your loved ones journey

    In the past whenever a relapse would occur with my daughter, I would wonder what was next… Will this be the last relapse and she will begin moving forward? How long will it be before the next relapse? When will I stop thinking of what happens next? It seems as much as I wonder and contemplate, the real question is the last one – when will I stop thinking about what happens next? That is the perspective that I wish to focus on. I know that what my daughter does is ‘none of my business.’ This is a common phrase that we as co-dependents need to remind ourselves. It doesn’t mean that we don’t care or aren’t involved in our loved ones live; it simply means that it is their life and their decisions and I do not get to call the shots. What I may get to do is offer advice, but this needs to be kept in the construct of someone asking for my advice.

    It is a delicate journey of minding our own business and letting go so our loved ones mind theirs. By doing this, we let them grow and experience life on their terms. They get to have the consequences; both good and bad. They get to experience the joy of their own accomplishments and the disappointment of their mistakes. All of these are part of life and by interfering in this process we prevent our loved ones from growing and flourishing. I know that the best thing I can do is step back and let go so that my daughter may take control of her life – she is smart and capable!

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  • Sunday Inspiration for Parents of Addicts and Alcoholics

    making the right decisions in recovery from substance abuseSome of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go.

    - Hermann Hesse
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  • Denial is the antithesis of knowledge and acceptance

    Mental Illness and AddictionSCENARIO: You have received bad news again, either from your son or daughter directly, their employer, landlord, friend, relative, fill-in-the-blanks. This time the emotional roller-coaster is curving through the anger turn. You think, “This is the 6th, 7th, 12th, 100th or another LAST time!” In yet another opportunity to drill into them the PROBLEMS they are creating for themselves, maybe this time you blast them with righteous indignation about the problems they are causing YOU.

    ME: “I don’t understand why you do it!”                THEM: “I don’t know why I do it!”

    Who’s right? Both! “I just don’t understand why” was often said from my mouth. Yet my actions for many years did not indicate any desire to try and learn about it. Moreover, I did not hear myself when I said the words: I don’t understand – I was preoccupied with WHY. Yet it armed me with ammunition: I don’t understand, therefore I will fight-fight-fight.

    In recovery I have learned that understanding is mental action of study which is sometimes measured through aptitude tests and scoring. Acceptance is a spiritual action of study with notable behavioral changes in attitude: serenity, kindness, gratitude and love. The further along I get in my own recovery, the less important “why” becomes. Knowledge has provided me with information – it was the resistance to this information that kept me in denial. Denial is the antithesis of knowledge and acceptance. And the battle of the non-Al-Anon vs. Alcoholic/Addict continues on or maybe, this time, something changes…

     

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