Author Archives: Eliza

Teen addiction and treatment; what’s that look like?

teenage boy contemplatingThis is a guest post by Jeremy Stanton, owner and CEO of Haven House Addiction Treatment in West Los Angeles

Alcoholism and drug addiction can look wildly different when comparing a teenager with an adult. The differences between these two groups of addicts necessitate treatment plans that focus on characteristics particular to each group. A serious point of emphasis in the recovery of one addict may not always be applicable to another. While the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous and its accompanying shift in action and thinking are relevant to everyone regardless of age, teenagers struggling with substance abuse have a specific set of issues that need to be addressed and resolved.

The consequences of drug abuse that teens face are very different from adults. There are no homes to lose, marriages to dissolve or careers to implode. Simply put, teen addicts have less responsibilities to forego and fewer achievements to tarnish. Addicts and alcoholics can be notoriously shortsighted, and in the case of teenagers, parents’ primary concerns involve their child’s future. This raises serious concerns about how to address drug abuse with younger addicts. Focusing on immediate consequences can be a more fruitful approach than stressing the potential for their decisions to affect them in the future. Poor performance in school, loss of interest in hobbies and dangerous risk-taking behavior are all relevant and important aspects of addiction that will be immediately noticeable. For teens, there is no baseline with which to compare their current behavior. The adult addict is able to reflect upon the progressive nature of his or her illness and acknowledge its increasing severity. Parents should instead focus on how their child’s addiction has affected their priorities and interests and has had some form of immediate consequence. Remember that treating addiction is only effective when an addict self-diagnoses and admits to their illness; always show rather than tell how drugs and alcohol have impacted their life.

Sobriety can be a frightening experience for anyone, regardless of their age, for plenty of reasons. Younger addicts may associate abstinence from drugs and alcohol with a lack of social life or an inability to have fun. At such a young age, fears of being shut out by their peers can also prevent teenagers from expressing the willingness to seek sobriety. Much of a teenager’s identity revolves around their social and groups and friends. While experimentation is common for this age group, there is a difference between recreational and dangerous abuse of drugs and alcohol. This distinction can be difficult to notice, especially for those who have had little to no history using illegal substances. As teenagers continue to use drugs, they may not be able to see addictive patterns. Fortunately for younger individuals requiring help in overcoming addiction, there are many AA and NA groups across the country that focus on recovery in teenage populations. Having someone who is a similar age recount their own struggles with drugs and alcohol is a big deal for an individual who is conflicted about their own desire to get sober. No amount of parental concern, school suspensions, trips to jail or other consequences will have the impact of one addict speaking with another.

There are several other issues involved in helping teens in recovery that should also be acknowledged. Teenagers will often have a sense of invincibility about some of their behaviors and decisions, and substance use is no exception. Denial is especially powerful in younger populations. Even when they have a sense of self-awareness about their substance abuse, procrastination can also make it difficult to seek recovery. Younger people often feel that there will be plenty of time in the future to address things, even issues as serious as addiction. A large part of treatment involves education and scientific evidence. Misconceptions and misinformation, usually related by friends, contribute a lot to someone using drugs for the first time. Without using traditional scare-tactics, parents or other people in the addict’s support system can have an open and honest conversation about the dangers of drug and alcohol abuse as well as the progression of addictive behaviors. Teens may fear punishment or blame from parents which can prevent them from admitting to their problems with drugs and alcohol.

Teenagers need a caring and supportive environment in order to recover from addiction. Sobriety is a difficult journey to walk, as anyone with the experience will tell you, and may seem even more frightening to a teenager. Anyone who can be honest with themselves is capable of recovery, and countless teenagers across the world can tell you that addiction is a strong, but defeatable opponent.

Jeremy Stanton is the owner and CEO of Haven House Addiction Treatment, a recovery community offering Detox, Outpatient, Inpatient and Continuing Care services for all ages located in West Los Angeles. For more information visit http://www.havenhouseaddictiontreatment.com or call (424) 293-2259.

Sunday Inspiration for Parents of Addicts and Alcoholics

How do you get the courage to reach for your dreams?

What really happens in rehab for addiction or alcoholism?

Photo of woman speaking to a counselor. This is a guest post from David Greenspan, a writer and media specialist for Lighthouse Recovery Institute . He’s been sober since 2008 and finds no greater joy than in helping still struggling alcoholics.

I’ve been to more than my fair share of rehabs. While, in the past, you’d have been hard pressed to get me to admit that, I say it today with ease. Why? Why do I take pride in the fact that I’m a man in long-term recovery? Simple – it gives me the opportunity to help others. Helping others takes the form of, more often than not, working with men who want to get sober. I share my experience, strength, and hope with in the hopes that, in the future, they’ll do the same for someone else.

Today, though, I’d like to share some of my experience with the parents of addicts and alcoholics out there. I know my parents were at their wit’s end for years. I managed to find every possible way to manipulate and hurt them.Thankfully, I’ve been able to make up for that behavior over the past seven years. Our relationship is wonderful today. I count my mother and father as two of my best friends. So, with helping parents in mind, I figured I’d give you all a breakdown of what a day in rehab looks like. Remember, though, there are many different types of rehab. I’ve only experienced the “Florida Model” ones. So, your child’s experience may be different. It’s a scary to think about sending your kid off to a treatment center. Hopefully this will make things just a little bit more manageable!

Morning Meditation

The BHTs would wake us up around 6:30 each morning. Immediately, before eating or brushing our teeth, the community would have a morning meditation. We were usually segmented by gender. Males would meet in one apartment and females in another. One patient would read from a twelve-step focused meditation book. Something like “Daily Reflections” or “As Bill Sees It.” After the reading, we’d go around and say our goal for the day. We’d then end with a prayer. This was a great way to affect a positive start to an otherwise challenging day!

The Clinical Day

We’d arrive at the clinical offices around 8am and immediately have our “caseload” group. This is a group led by your primary therapist. It’s made up of their entire caseload, usually between five and ten patients. After caseload, there’d be a smoke break. Speaking for myself, these smoke breaks were invaluable! They gave me a way to decompress after an hour or longer of intense therapy. We’d then have two more groups for the day. The topics and make up of each group varied. There were large groups where the entire community attended. There were small groups made up of only two or three patients at a time.Regardless of the size, these groups would cover recovery oriented topics like relapse prevention, gender-specific issues, co-occurring disorders, family therapy, life skills training, and the like. After these groups, we’d usually be taken to the gym or a park. Much like those smoke breaks, these outings were crucial. They let me feel “normal” again, if only for an hour at a time.

Twelve-Step Meetings at Night

At night, we’d attend in-house or off property twelve-step meetings. These ranged from Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous to groups like Overeaters Anonymous and Codependency Anonymous. I loved the twelve-step meetings. They gave me a view of what sobriety and recovery looked like after treatment. They gave me a view of what long-term, sustained sobriety looked like. You were usually required to get a sponsor and sober supports at these meetings. While it’s a bit strange to me that a rehab would require twelve-step participation, reaching out to other alcoholics and addicts was incredibly vital to my recovery. In fact, I credit my recovery more to the work I did on myself in a twelve-step fellowship than to rehab and therapy. Don’t get me wrong, the clinical groups were lifesaving and gave me great insight in why I drank and drugged in the first place. Still, treatment only lasts for so long. Afterwards, it’s the connections I made in the rooms of recovery that kept me sober.

After the meetings, we’d return back to “campus” and have some downtime. Around 11pm, we’d have to return to our apartments and call it a night. During this time, shooting the breeze with my roommates, I made some amazing friendships.

Bonus: Unbreakable Friendships

While these friendships aren’t part of any schedule in treatment, they’re important. The men and women I met while in rehab understood me in a way no one else ever had. There was always someone to talk to. If you couldn’t sleep, you could wake up your roommate and talk about the struggles of early-recovery. If a particular group was too intense, you could go outside and find a peer to talk to. It’s amazing what a friendly face and word or two of understanding can do for your mood. It’s funny, I went to my last treatment center over seven years ago. We had a small community, probably around thirty men and women. Of those thirty, I’m still in contact with around twenty of them. Not all of them are sober. Some are able to manage controlled drinking. Some are back in the depths of addiction. We stay in contact though. We help each other when no one else is available. We survived treatment together and that engenders a lifelong bond.  I went to the wedding of one of my treatment peers last year. It was a surreal experience. Years ago, I watched as he crumbled and cried in front of the rehab community. That day, I watched as he stood in front of his family, friends, and God and took his marriage vows.

It’s amazing what recovery does for a person!

 

 

 

Sunday Inspiration for Parents of Addicts and Alcoholics

Can you change your outlook?

The death of dreams for our children who are addicts and alcoholics

Recognizing addiction in loved one Dr. JantzDr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross wrote On Death and Dying in 1969, and it holds timeless wisdom for parents of addicts and alcoholics. The Kübler-Ross model of the five stages of grief chronicles the reactions we have when we lose the dreams we had for someone…ourselves, or our children, perhaps.

Those steps might look this way when we witness a loved one’s chemical dependency:

1) Denial: He’s not using drugs – he’s got learning disabilities or He wasn’t drinking – he’s just an inexperienced driver.

2) Anger: You’ve stupidly shot up all your college funds.

3) Bargaining: If you fix my child, I’ll never ask for anything again.

4) Depression: I’d rather be dead than go through this hell.

5) Acceptance: I’ve come to accept that I am powerless over my loved one’s drug or alcohol abuse, and that my life has become unmanageable.

The Acceptance step may sound familier because it’s the first step any any 12-step program. It’s the foundation of recovery for addicts and alcohlics, and for those who love them. Acceptance is a good place to end up in Dr. Ross’s model, and it’s a great place to start getting healthy in AA or Al-Anon.

Sunday Inspiration for Parents of Addicts and Alcoholics

Can you incorporate the ten to zen for the new year?

Changing perspectives to enjoy the blessings along the way

Woman With Butterfly Wings Flying On Fantasy Sea Sunset, RelaxatIn Scenes of  Clerical Life, George Eliot wrote, “The golden moments in the stream of life rush past us, and we see nothing but sand; the angels come to visit us and we only know them when they are gone.” Eliot must have been writing about me.  I’m guilty as charged of being so immersed in the past and wrapped up in future “What if’s?” that I overlook the present.  Take this admittedly embarrassing example:  last week, I found myself quite challenged by the final pages of a book.  The text seemed choppy, the story line absent…..and then I realized I had been reading the appendix of the book and didn’t even know it.  Where was I when the actual story ended and the appendix began?  Drifting off to sleep in the bathtub; but still, my personal alarm should have shrilled “Be here now!”

So what does this have to do with addiction?  I ruminate on past hurts and mistakes and concentrate too much on future worries (which clearly exist only in my mind).  All the while, the present slips away like sand in an hourglass.

One of my resolutions is to change my perspective, to shift the focus off my son’s addiction, to stop pigeon-holing him with the way I think.  Not to diminish addiction’s ever-present power, but instead to view the whole of my son in a fuller context as a joyous, bright, generous and kind young man who also happens to be in recovery.

When I shift my focus and see the whole of my child, the difficult past and unknown future loosens its grip , creating a clearer vista where I may get a glimpse of the angels at work in my life today.

Ask the Expert: What are the odds of relapse?

Difficulty saying yes or noMy 16 year old daughter has just completed a Juvenile Drug Court program and has been clean and sober for almost 6 months. We have completed an intense program of family groups, one-on-one therapy and weekly teen support group meetings. What are the odds of her relapsing? – Concerned Mom

Photo of Christy CrandellEXPERT CHRISTY CRANDELL:

While relapse is often times a part of recovery it is not ALWAYS a part of it. Research tells us that one year is the “optimal dose” of treatment so continue with her individual therapy and support groups. If, indeed, there is a relapse I think the best thing is to remain calm and remember it doesn’t mean she is going to go back to that lifestyle permanently. She needs to be held accountable for her poor decision but more importantly she will need to process what happened with her counselor in order to make sure she has all the tools she needs to stay sober. – Christy Crandell, Administrative Director and Founder of Full Circle Treatment Center.

Photo of Ricki TownsendEXPERT RICKI TOWNSEND:

Relapse is a complicated issue based on numerous factors. Both you and your daughter need to make recovery your first priority.  For you, that means getting the support you need to stay healthy and to have a healthy relationship with your daughter. Going to a Parents Al-Anon meeting, working with a counselor, or attending open AA meetings with your daughter would all be healthy and constructive.

Yes, relapse statistics are high. At the same time,  I encourage my families to not get caught up in the numbers because they can only cause you to stress and lose focus on your program. It sounds like you are doing all the right things.  Keep up the good work, and concentrate only on your individual recovery programs. I wish you all well and I know you can all stay healthy if you both keep the focus on recovery.

Blessings, Ricki Townsend, Board Certified Interventionist, Drug/Alcohol Counselor, NCAC1, CAS, RAS, Bri-1

Sunday Inspiration for Parents of Addicts and Alcoholics

Are you ready to hear the unbiased truth?

Parents of addicts and alcoholics, ditch the guilt!

Hands releasing oxygen bubblesThere is an endless supply of guilt and shame in the world of addiction. And when your chemically-dependent child is in early recovery, you certainly don’t have to like him or her. That can be near to impossible to do, anyway, because the hangover of deceit and blame can take a while to blow over. Don’t feel guilty about feeling resentment for the chaos created by addicts and addiction. You don’t have to like your child at the moment. But you do need to love them if you hope to have a healthy relationship in the future.

You also need to love yourself. If you are wearing a hair shirt of guilt, you need to take it off and stop the “Why didn’t I…?” and “I should have….” Self-flagellation never helped anybody get better.

“When we know better, we do better” applies to both addicts/alcoholics and their parents. When our beloved children begin to confront their chemical dependency, they become more capable of managing it. And when we confront our relationship with them and their disease, we can begin to heal as individuals and as a family.