I’m writing about detachment, my favorite topic. In the family disease, I was completely sure the problem resided with THEM and did not realize how attached I was to THAT. As we say, “turn the binoculars around!” A simple concept does not come easy, it takes work. DOING! It begins with thinking about detachment in a new way.
The first relatable scenario for me was realizing how attached I became to inanimate objects. Like the clothes in my closet for example. I’m attached to them and can’t begin to let them go! Never mind that they have not been worn or seen the light of day for years! Never mind that they won’t fit well or even be in style. Yet my closet is stuffed full, and there I stand with nothing to wear because I can’t see – too much clutter! There is a deep rooted fear (in my mind) that my “letting them go” will result in a definitive, almost instantaneous need for one of these articles I just gave away. It’s a common misconception that removing something will leave a dark hole which translates to a negative emptiness. I recall a time when I visualized an old article of clothing was just the right thing. After digging deep into storage bins under the bed, I found, upon closer inspection; it was not at all appropriate or accurate to my memory of it! Whatever the source or cause of my attachments, it tends to keep me NOT DOING, or holding on. Sound familiar? Doing or not doing.
And my attachment to dated clothing may trump the joy of new possibilities: NOT DOING has consequences! Oddly, we feel safer there, because there will not be a hole. Is the fear of missing something I bought years ago, worth holding onto? If it were, I might be buried alive with STUFF. So the seeds of detachment can begin with simple measures of DOING something, maybe different, but nonetheless DOING. There is a possibility the hole will be filled with light!