Part 3: The last act of a high school graduation. With a better sense of reality learned the hard way, I had an unconscious surrender. I realized that I could not control or predict the future especially in light of the problems drugs and alcohol were creating in the family dynamics. This final act looked and felt different. Graduation would be significant if it meant anything to him, not me. What I saw was his desire to graduate, not my own. He was the one that studied and attended class seriously. He took the initiative to go on the senior trip, not I. His actions resulted in his graduating with his class and I did not have anything to do with it.
The thought occurred to me: I can’t take credit for the success or failure of someone else…and then the awakening: I’m no longer in control as a parent, I’m just mom. That letting go of my ideas of how the story ends for my children would be a solution to my problems. A few years later with the help of Al-Anon, I learned that there are tools to help me be the supportive mother, free of constant worry and fear. I can strive for unconditional love and this only happens when I chose to change my old thinking and behavior. This has not been an easy change to embrace. I still catch myself having to detach my will for things to go my way.
June is a memory with a new perspective. Had I known the real dangers of drug and alcohol abuse long before graduation, when my kids were little and innocent, who knows how things might have been different. If nothing else, my experience may tip others to get informed and involved, while you still have control as a parent. Fortunately, concerned parents made a documentary that tells it like it is today, Collision Course – Teen Addiction Epidemic (to view click here.) To learn more about the project and the mission of Pathway to Prevention – go to www.pathwaytoprevention.org.