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Disruptive addiction – keeping sane when things implode

I was reminded recently of how difficult it can be when you have an addict in the house. In this case it is a young adult coming back home for a few days. As parents we want to see our kids even if they are wreaking havoc in our home. We hope that maybe next time will be different. We set boundaries and make our expectations clear. We start to forget how stressful it was the last time and how we will do what we can to keep things even keel. Yet when you have an addict in the family it is always unpredictable as to what may set them off. One moment you are enjoying your family and the next something happens and the anger and verbal abuse comes flying out. Suddenly your happy home becomes a place where you fear for what will happen next.

It’s been a long while since this has happened in my house. But I don’t have to think too hard to remember when it did and how incredibly stressful it was. It was the proverbial walking on eggshells always wanting to make sure that something didn’t get said or done that would set off a negative chain of events. I learned the hard way that I really didn’t need to take the abuse and that when I started setting boundaries and sticking to them (the hard part!) that slowly things started to change. An addict is very much like a two year old throwing a tantrum, if you let them get away with it then it will just keep happening again and again. Stay strong in setting and holding your boundaries to protect yourself and your family. This will help you to reclaim the peace and serenity in your household that you deserve to have every day.

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One Response

  1. I just subscribed today after finding this site online. My son has just entered Rehab for the second time. He was doing so well and made it about 68 days clean until he was in a perfect storm situation and relapsed. As hard as it is to take, I’m also proud of him. He called his counselor after 2 days and said he needed an immediate appointment. He went in 2 days later and told her what happened, and that he wanted to go back to Rehab. He got kicked out of the Recovery house he was living in, but kept moving forward making phone calls until he was able to establish a place back in the same center he was in previously. He left this morning again with 4 days under his belt with no use. A parent’s love in unconditional and what gets me thru each minute is hope. It’s that simple. Red Cardinals always make me feel hopeful when I see them, a male and female landed outside our window this morning as we were waiting for the driver to pick him up to head back to Rehab. H O P E is what is said to both of us.