My kids suffering always pushed my rescue buttons. And with the progressive nature of the Family Disease, my mommy cape became ineffective and was my first defeat in my war on addiction. Too cunning and baffling, the serious trouble drugs and alcohol created for all of us required counter-intuitive measures. What’s right is wrong, what’s up is down; it was as if I had taken a hike through the looking glass. Yet oddly enough, nonsense became logic when looked at differently. I took a new turn and my willingness to try and see things in an unfamiliar way would ultimately be the best thing I could do.
These offensive measures were like being on a hike in the national park called RecoveryLand; sometimes the trail markers are confusing or missing completely. I would have to believe I’m on the right course; use my directional tools and another person to strategize. “No” would become a complete sentence and the kindest word I would say. As hard as it is, as unnatural as it feels, if I wanted to shorten the path to a recovery turnoff, my trail markers would have to change. “I love you so I won’t…” was the treacherous climb out of the canyon. In small increments I could see sane things reappear in my life. The trail head was always there.