A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, ‘I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, young man.’ The driver says, ‘Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 55, I think  your radar gun needs calibrating.’  Not looking up from her knitting the mother says: ‘Now don’t be silly dear, you know that this car doesn’t have cruise control.’  As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his mom and growls, ‘Mom, please, can you keep your mouth shut for once?’   The mom smiles demurely and says, ‘You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did.’  As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the young man glowers at his mom and says through clenched teeth, ‘Geez, mother! shut-up!’ The officer frowns and says, ‘And I notice that you’re not wearing your seat belt – that’s an automatic $75 fine.’ The driver says, ‘Yeah, well, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket.’   The mom says, “Oh Johnny, you know very well that you didn’t have your seat belt on. I’m always reminding you but you just ignore me.’   And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his mother and barks in desperation, ‘WHY DON’T YOU SHUT UP??’

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, ‘Does your son always talk to you this way, Ma’am?’

I love this part……….. :

‘Only when he’s been drinking.’