Sometimes I wonder if setbacks in our lives are there to test the resolve of all of those involved. When our loved ones relapse into their addiction, it is an opportunity for us to go through our part in all of this. Overtime I have grown and changed that it is different now. After you go through multiple relapses with your loved one you sometimes start to feel just a little less devastated like you might in the beginning of the journey. I believe part of this is sheer exhaustion from the situation, but another part is the personal growth that comes to us as we travel alongside our loved ones on this journey.
Many people think that it’s all about the person with the addiction. And many times entire families become obsessed and focused on the one struggling with the addiction. But there is so much more to look at when you go through a time like this. I had to consider my progress…was I still enabling? Was I letting go of trying to control my daughter and let her live her life on her terms? Was I living my life and moving forward or was I stuck? Was I paying attention to the other important people in my life…my son, my husband? How was I coping and taking care of myself so that I could take care of my family? These are the questions that I needed to ask myself and be critical with my answers. I’ve found that it isn’t all about the loved one with addiction – it’s about the whole family and I need to take stock of how we were all doing and how I could best support everyone in our collective journey.